1 day ago
its better to make mistake earlier in life, take risk!

hi, (this word have been the first word coming out of my mouth today) am 21 years old, i have never taken any big risk before and now i had a feeling i will.

i never got into a relationship, because I thought I would be hurt. i never took any exam that i know will turn my brain upside down. i never tried to cut class because i felt i might miss some important lectures. and i never got into something i did not study for.

my investment seminar suggest that never invest in something you do not understand. but i do understand, its just that i dont know.

ok, fine, its a gym. i was dropped on a wrong corner at edsa pasay road, and i saw this enormous facility, the slimmers world, which i have heard before, just not paying attention to it, and i said to myself i why should it try, so i inquired and now, i was about to enter to a decision where i about to say yes.

part of me say go for it, you might as well return to your usual figure, other one say, take it slow, and get to know the gym first.

i dont know what to do, tommorow it is, i hope i can decide sooner.

but i feel like, who cares whats gonna happen, im young and there must be a room for some mistakes and i will take it. if it turn out good, i will be delighted, if its a disappointment i will find something else. and in that time i can afford much better right. atleast i tired.

i mean, can i just atleast see the man first before marrying him.

2 days ago
in troubled waters

is there a time in your life when felt all you are doing is wrong. or maybe everything you do will turn out to be a wreck.

well it happens to me everytime. just like now.
i am scheduled to report couple of hours from now, and i barely mastered what i will discuss. i will talk about product strategy, where in marketers are able to evaluate and come up with a perfect strategy based on identifying the wants and needs of the consumers. it was quiet a long chapter and here i am writing about my feeling and not working out on it.

whenever i speak in front i am always nervous, well who isnt, i always forgot the key words i am about to say. and i ended up making up examples and whatnot.

i always feel that i will fail. i will ruin everything up. that lead me on not making my full effort in preparing for it.

i always wanted to be fluent in English. i want to have confidence in the way i speak. i want my sentences to be well-constructed. but i always fail. i dont have any of it.

i just wish i get that someday.

but now i am in the library, seeing people do their own business and im here, just waiting for something i dont know. God help me. speak through me. i can do this without you. i dont want to do this without you. let me find confidence in you. and help me find the apt words as i speak later. give me the umderstanding and help ma master it.

i just love you.

3 days ago
what am i gonna do

as i check my facebook page, i can see my friends and colleagues post the activities they do, the places they were at, the food they were eating, the experience the have been through. and i wonder, do i have in my life something special going on, where i gonna travel to places and just live free for a moment, will i be doing what i want to do and be worth posting so that people might see it. what is it that is special in me that is worth bragging.

i am currently working for a year and a half now, and studying for about two months, i am single and never in a relationship ever since. i am not a people person, and i used to hangout in my bedroom, or in the living room most of the time, going out is not my thing unless i am with a family member. i have a lots of colleagues, but few friends and i am used of being on my own. in short my life is such an adventure, just kidding.

as i look at my life now, it is not the kind of life a person with want to have. but i have no choice. the thing is that i cant imagine myself to be different. i think i am what i am because i choose to be like what i am. i choose to stay at home, read a book, i choose to not fall in love to have company, i choose to be closeer to my family and not with anybody else. i just love being this way.

but i know this is not gonna end here. God has a plan for me, more than what i think, ask and even imagine. He is right there at work making every detail of my life exactly where it will gonna be.

i will admit, there are times when i get bored and just want to be where i gonna be, but He keeps reminding me to endure patience, we’ll get there.

he always reminds me that it is not the world whom i am pleasing, i do not have to tell the world where i am, what i ate, what i am doing, and where i have been. it is always him and only him whom i will be boasting about. it doesnt matter if the world sees me as boring and uninteresting person, i dont care whether they will accept me or love me the way i am. but i know God loves me no matter what.

what will i do in a he future, where will i go in the future, who will i be with in the future is his business. my business is to obey what ever he want me to do, say, or go.

thank you Lord. i just still cant wait to find out what is waiting for me at the end of this.

"parang" Accountancy; "parang" MBA

common knowledge of most people is that, when it comes to dealing with money, business and balance sheet are because for our beloved accountants.

i mean, no offense, i have relatives and friend who are accountants now and they are really great. my is that when you ask for my course make sure you ask what it is and not just say, ‘ah parang accountacy’. No! we are not accountants we’re auditors. there are lots and lots of difference between an accountant and an auditor,

accountant only deals with financial statements, balance sheet, and cash flows of the company, anything that has to do with the money that comes in and out of the business.

auditors are the eye of the company, they deal not only in matters of financials but also in different units of the organization, they assure the effectiveness and efficiency of the business in every single unit of it.

accountant are acquired locally, you take exams in country you want to be an account of. same thing with audotr the difference is when you passed the auditing exam, you are an auditor wherever country you go. we are not yet recognized popularly but I assure you, we can also dominate.

getting over with those who are asking of what did i took in college, let talk about graduate school.

when they thought of graduate school for business they olny think about MBA, no where not taking MBA, where are taking MRIM, and there again the classic reply ‘ah parang MBA’

MBA is course that manages the business, master every part of it. and in sometime you can manage business of your own.

MRIM is different, we are specialized in just a certain portion of the business, the risk. we master the risk company will be taking, are taking, and has taken. we are trained to cure and minimize the risk that the world of business has to offer.

for sure there will be a lot of parang MBA and parang Accountant replies, but hopefully we can be recognize for who we are, not for who we are not.

k dot.

5 days ago
wait or get over.

once a upon a time, there was a princess who befriend a prince. they have the same likes and personality. they can share music together, they can play game that only the two of them can understand, they can watch movie and tell stories about it. they have a lot in common. even their parents has the same aniversary date.

the princess fell in love with the princess, she kept it and the prince had another princess. they kept their distance and after quiet some times the prince broke the relationship up and they were reunited. this time the princess tought it would be better, they almost see each other, go to church together, and even share hobby even if they are far from each other. the prince started to introduce the princess to his friends and colleagues. she was closed with the prince’s brother and his best friends.

she thought this will lead to somthing deeper. until one day she grew tired of loving the prince, she felt ordinary and was taken forgranted. she manages to be distant and little by little the prince notice the cold treatment of the princess. he ask what was wrong with them and the princess never said a word. everyday the prince keep on insisting to know the reason. but the princess is just afraid to tell him. the prince grew tired and stop comunicating with the princess

the princess thought that she has no difference with his other friends, that he treat her differently when they were alone and they have company. she felt taken for granted. she doesnt want him to know because she is afraid she might lose him. or everything he will do will be by forced and not as an act of will. the prince never knew the reason why.

one day the princess said that she sincerely missing the prince. but the prince just said nothing. she keep on trying to win him back. but he said that he do not want to lie. the prince said that he did not miss her, and he is tired of being with her. he said it would be better if they separate way. having no choice she agreed.

she cried for days, weeks, months, until such time she forgot why. she accepted that all they have is friendship and nothing more. even if for her it was more than that. the princess continued her life and pursue her career. she had no news about the prince.

after a long while, the prince contacted her and tell her he was thinking about her. the princess guarded her feelings and acted casually, she felt that the prince misses her even if he never said it, but she let it pass by. she thougt that if he is the man for her, anything she would do today can definitely lead back to him.

yes she wants him back but when that time happens they must both at the same track. she wanted to be the best for him, and he for her. so she let it pass. but she has no guarantee that their life will cross again sometime.

the time she want to talk to him, all of their means to communicate were gone. now the princess has no communication to the prince at all, no means to contact him, or find him. she has no idea whats gonna happen to them

she really is missing the prince. she is hoping one day to meet him and be with him happily ever after, or worst not to see him again, but hopefully if it happens she will be totally over him. the first scenario would be better.

fingers crossed

1 week ago
What am i doing, what for.

every time i wake up i always wonder whats my purpose today.

it felt like my life is nuetral, it is not accelerating, and not going down. its just plain and simple. in short boring.

after graduation, i thought i entered another adventure that will excite me, that we challenge me more, but i was wrong, today, am can see my self go to work, go home, go to bed, go school, go home, go to bed, go to church, go home, go to bed. an unending cycle and i dont even know when to stop.

i am bored, i just want to live free, and do things differently everyday. i dont want a routine, i want surprises. i dont want to predict i wanna be amaze.

God, it feels like theres nothing new in me. i am not growing as a person. it feels like i am getting worse and worse everyday. i easily giving in to temptation. i am not thinking when making a discussion. i know i depend on you but still i cant stand being myself.

what to do God. it feels like i dont want to be me anymore.
i am not smart, i dont get my lesson quickly. i am not consistent, i am easily distructed and my plans are always changing, i am ugaly, i dont like my face„and nobody likes me. i am fat, i can feel my belly folds and vibrates everytime i move. i am lazy, i cant finich anything. i feel old. i am not getting any younger.

all i want is to be joyful, i know you must be my first, so i can be content becuase you are mor than enough. but God assure me that theres a rainbow after this, give me patience, and endurance to overcome. help me Lord. i am near depression. i know it. talk to me. thank you.

its saturday. and i am here!

1 week ago
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2 weeks ago
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2 weeks ago
i can, i just dont want to

my colleagues observed that whenever i have something yet not using it used by another person, i just snatch it and use it all of a sudden. a while ago, i have a banana on my table, it is there since last night, and my seatmate just ate it, suddenly i said i want it. another is my hair clip, it was on my desk and someone took it, i just immediately grab it and say i will use it, even if my hair is in my pony.

i should have known it sooner. i admit. i only value things when someone got interested with it. i was too confident of not losing them so i took them forgranted and when they were snatched form me i just want to take them back. classic rox.

when i have his full attention, i just dont want him. i kept my distance and ignore every sweet thing he did to make me smile and laugh. i kept on taking him for granted. i thought he will never grew tired but he did.

sooner he stops his efforts on doing things for me, my gentleman was turned to a complete stranger. starnger that doenst care for me all of a sudden.

at first it was ok, i manage it ignore him either. but deep within me I doubted. maybe he just realize i am not worth his efforts. yet also deep in me, i really appreciate every single thing he did.

now i was the one who tries anything to get his attention. i make it a point to ask help when my things are heavy but most of the time i fail. i tried to talk to him about work, but he happens to ignore me in fornt of people. but sometimes he approached me, when no one is around.

my friends are teasing me, i hope its not real, that one of my girl friend is linked with him, they try to make me believe that he is interested with her. there i realize i cant see him with another girl. the thought of seeing him doing the efforts he did to me to another girl kills me. i know i cant control him, but i just cant control my feelings. i know if this will happen, please no, id rather not see him anymore.

i know it was just a joke, but i cant help to think what if its true, what if he is done with me. i can live with it, but i just dont want to.

The Last Song theme by The4Girls